Are You Suicidal or Exhausted?

By Linda Evans Shepherd:

Does fatigue and dealing with difficult people make your depression worse? Are you suicidal or exhausted?

 

tired

Recently I got an email from a friend who felt too tired to go on living. In fact, she said, “Everything is such a struggle I don’t think I can take it anymore.  My best solution, I’ve decided, is to kill myself, especially as I can no longer handle the difficult people in my life.”

I suggested that difficult people are hard to deal with, especially when we are worn out or worn down with fatigue. I explained that her best solution was not death, but rest.

If you too are feeling too tired to go on, here are a few things to consider.

Difficult people, struggles, financial woes, marriage difficulties and the like always seem worse when you are tired. So your best solution to recover and not feel overwhelmed by your struggles may actually be to try some of the following ideas that will help you find rest, peace, joy, and activate the things that make you feel happy.

In other words, we at Thinking About Suicide are extending you permission to be kind to yourself so you can start to feel better.

Here are a few ideas to rejuvenate you:

Get More Rest

*  Try going to bed earlier: a half-hour to a whole hour earlier – even if you can’t sleep why not relax, pray, read your Bible or talk to God.

*  Sleep in.

Take a Break

*  Take a break from difficult people – if all else fails, turn off the phone or leave the room or make an excuse to run an errand.

*  Answer difficult emails only once a day or even once a week.

Exercise

*  Go for a jog – exercise can help improve mood!

*  Take a walk.

*  Jump on a mini tramp ten – twenty minutes a day to music that makes you happy.

Listen to Inspiring Music

* Music is a great idea!  Listen to music that makes you happy.

*Play your favorite praise music.

Try Something New

*  Go away for the weekend.

*  Watch a sunset.

*  Talk to someone who makes you feel happy.

*  Go to church.

*  Make a list of new goals and dreams that you would like to accomplish.

Read

* Read the Bible

* Read a good book.  May I suggest Jesus Calling, or my latest book which is a GREAT feel-good book, Experiencing God’s Presence, Learning to Listen While You Pray.

*  Read the book Adrenal Fatique by James L Wilson and follow the doc’s advice.

Create

*  Do something creative – paint, knit, cook or write a poem.

 Get Good Nutrition

*  Avoid sugar.

*  Add vitamin b, c, e and magnesium to your diet.

*  Eat something healthy like a green salad with protein.

*  Drink a nice, big glass of water.

Imagine God wrapping you in his arms and telling you that He loves you.

Most of all: Please do not harm yourself.  When you start to feel better, you may be surprised that your problems don’t seem as painful and that you have more energy to cope with your stress.  As for my friend, I’m happy to say she took my advice and is feeling much better.

This video will help you understand what adrenal fatigue is and how it may be affecting you:

Loneliness Can Lead to Suicide

Image by Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image by Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

By Karen O’Connor:

An article by Stephen Marche in The Atlantic magazine  focuses on an important point:

“Social media—from Facebook to Twitter—have made us more densely networked than ever.

Yet for all this connectivity, new research suggests that we have never been lonelier (or more narcissistic)—and that this loneliness is making us mentally and physically ill.”

Loneliness can lead to suicide.

For example, soap opera star Nick Santino took his life on his 47th birthday in January 2012 after euthanizing his pit bull, Rocco, following an alleged threat from a neighbor about the dog, according to an article in US Magazine.

The man was so distraught he believed his only solution was to commit suicide, after posting his concern on Facebook and calling a former girlfriend. “Police found Santino’s body in his bedroom later that afternoon. The actor had overdosed on pills.”

This is just one of many cases of suicide following bouts of extreme loneliness and fear.

Kevin Caruso on suicide.org  encourages lonely people to take the following steps, among others:

“If you are suicidal and feel intense loneliness, please get help for your suicidal feelings. And please take steps to be less lonely. If you feel lonely and isolate yourself, your risk of suicide will increase. So, get out and talk to people. You can talk with people in stores, at events, you name it. And open up to your friends and family.”

And you can find help in the Bible. God cares about you and your feelings of loneliness.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).

 Loneliness can lead to suicide but if you turn to God with your feelings he will rescue and uphold you and help you take the steps that lead to healing and caring relationships.

And for further encouragement take a look at this YouTube with Dr. Larry Crabb of NewWay Ministries—”What Does Loneliness Tell Us About Ourselves?”

Look Here For Hope

help me God, suicide, the suicidal, help, facts, prevention, your problems, survivor’s guilt, survivor stories, and the loss of a loved one — as well as info for anyone thinking about suicide, suicde.Welcome to our search engine which includes helps, statistics, and hope concerning suicide and the suicidal. You will find facts, survivor stories, suicide prevention tips as well as answers to your survivor’s guilt after the loss of a loved one. You will also find helps and info if you are thinking about suicide.

Be sure to use our powerful search tool at the upper right hand  corner of this page to search our many topics and resources.  You can also check out our arcticle categories on the upper, white tool bar or on the lower right side of this page.  You can also scroll down to see a sampling or our articles.

If you are contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). We will try to answer comments, but if you need a timely response, please call the phone number above.  (Also, see our disclaimer.)

How Can I Survive? Grabbing a Lifeline

By PeggySue Wells:

At times life becomes so difficult many wonder, How can I survive? But others can offer hope–and you can too.

 

Life preserver image by cbenjasuwan FDP net

Image by cbenjasuwan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Times of transition can send us spinning into depression and thoughts of suicide. There can be more questions than answers. Will I survive this? Will life ever be secure again? Did I make a bad decision?

“Save me, O God:

 for the waters have risen up to my neck.

I sink in muddy depths and have no foothold;

            I am swept into deep water, and the flood carries me away.

            I am wearied with crying out, my throat is sore,

            my eyes grow dim as I wait for God to help me.”

            Psalms 69:1-3 (NEB)

 My friend shared her experience with change:

When my husband was discharged from military service, we found ourselves jobless and homeless. I took our four small children to stay at a friend’s mountain cabin while my husband looked for employment in another state.

Isolated and on the edge of despair, life looked hopeless. I found myself thinking about suicide.

“If one should fall, the other helps him up; but woe to the man by himself with no one to help him up when he falls down.” Ecclesiastes 4:10 (NJB)

Though we weren’t his responsibility anymore, our former military base chaplain tracked me down. He spent time with me on the phone, asking serious questions to keep me focused on continuing to live. He said he would be there for me during the tough days and he was. I’m thankful he cared enough to help me across the miles.

Has there been someone in your life who has been your lifeline during a dark time? Have you been there for someone else when they were thinking about suicide?

“The generous soul will prosper, he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:25 (NIV).

Are you wondering today, How can I survive? Absorb these words from Ruth Bell Graham:

Trusting Him when dark doubts assail us

Trusting Him when our strength is small

Trusting Him when to simply trust Him

is the hardest thing of all.

 

Trust Him then through tears or sunshine

All our cares upon Him cast.

Till the storms of life are over

And the trusting days are past.                      

I Hate my Job!

Linda Evans Shepherd:

I once met a woman who told me, “I hate my job,” and expressed that she wanted to die.  But as we began to talk, what  happened next was so remarkable that I wrote about it in my book, When You Don’t Know What to Pray – How to Talk to God About Anything.

See the excerpted story below:

After speaking at an event in Iowa, I was chatting with the soloist when a grandmother in her early sixties approached us. Her conference nametag read “Barb” and she said, “Linda, I appreciated your talk today on joy but it didn’t help me.”

Startled, I stared as she continued, “I can’t go on. I’m no good to anyone. It’s like I’m already dead.”

My friend Jackie’s eyebrows shot into her hairline and she looked to me as if to say, “Yikes! What do we do?”

I studied the woman before me. Her eyes were dull and her face hard. She was in incredible emotional pain. “What’s happened to you, Barb?” I asked softly.

Barb frowned, then in one long breath she said, “My husband died last year of a heart attack. I hate my job. I was left to raise my granddaughters and I’m doing a terrible job. My son-in-law committed suicide and I think he had the right idea. I’ve decided I should kill myself too.”

I asked, “Who are you mad at?”

Her blue eyes locked with mine. With a trembling voice she answered, “I loathe myself and I’m mad at God.”

I nodded slowly, comprehending her fury and replied, “That’s okay. God’s big enough to handle your anger. Do you want to let go of it? Do you want to give God your anger?”

She nodded her head and together we knelt on the carpet. There on the hotel conference room floor, with conference attendees milling around us and Jackie looking on, Barb let go. She not only gave God her anger, she also gave Him her burdens, hurts, and disappointments with a simple prayer, “I give it all to you Lord, the anger, the burdens, everything.”

When we finished, Jackie and I witnessed an amazing transformation. Color returned to Barb’s cheeks. Her eyes glistened. The hardness in her face evaporated as if she’d received an instant facelift. It was a stunning moment as we witnessed Barb’s return from the dead.

Barb and I stood up and hugged. I said, “Barb, this is what it feels like to be free.”

Barb jumped and clapped her hands. “Oh, I didn’t know this could happen. I am free. I’m free. I’m free!”

If you are finding yourself in the same situation as this woman, why not pray a prayer of your own.

Dear Lord,

I’m so angry about my job situation, and all the people who have contributed to my difficulties, including my boss, my co-workers, me and even You!  But I’m willing to give you my anger, to lay it at your feet, and to say to you, I give my anger over my job to you, Lord, it’s now your problem.  Help turn this situation around into a miracle.

In Jesus’s name,

Amen.

 Speaking of miracles, Zig Ziglar, who passed a few days ago , was a man who spent his 86 years living life with zest as he helped others find their purpose.  Watch him tell about a woman he met who also hated her job, and how he helped her turn her situation around.  His solution is brilliant and I think it might also work for you.

Support for the Unemployed and Depressed (Suicidal)

By Karen O’Connor:


Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

According to Dean Baker, co-director of the Center for Economic and Policy Research and Kevin Hassett, director of economic policy studies at the American Enterprise Institute, writing in the New York Times Sunday Review:

“The prospects for the re-employment of older workers deteriorate sharply the longer they are unemployed . . . ” This is all the more reason to support the unemployed and depressed who threaten suicide.

The authors referred in their column to a paper by the economists Daniel Sullivan and Till von Wachter.

“A recent study found that a 10 percent increase in the unemployment rate (say from 8 to 8.8 percent) would increase the suicide rate for males by 1.47 percent. Assuming a link of that scale, the increase in unemployment would lead to an additional 128 suicides per month in the United States.”

The authors urge policy makers to recognize this emergency, and to fashion a comprehensive re-employment policy that focuses on the specific needs of the long-term unemployed. “. . . spend money to help expand public and private training programs with proven track records; expand entrepreneurial opportunities by increasing access to small-business financing; reduce government hurdles to the formation of new businesses; and explore subsidies for private employers who hire the long-term unemployed.”

How can we as individuals support support the unemployed who threaten suicide. over their jobless state?

Author Jessica Miller-Merrell in a column on blogging4jobs.com suggests the following:

  • Be Supportive.  There are more than 27.3 million unemployed (via SHRM.org) out there many of whom have exhausted their unemployment benefits or given up altogether.  Provide them an ear to listen before your mouth suggests to them a solution.
  • Help a Job Seeker.  Offer to evaluate a resume or provide mock interview feedback. By giving the job seeker a moment of your time, you provide hope and help.
  • Treat Them with Dignity.  Job seekers who are displaced and out of work are people too.  Talk to them. Get to know them, and remember that more than 27.3 million are unemployed.

It’s the little things that matter.  Meeting your friend for coffee just to check in, helping them update their LinkedIn profile, or calling just say hello.  I promise there is life after unemployment.”

And more than ever, the unemployed need our prayers and spiritual support. These verses from the Bible can be a start on the road from suicides among the unemployed, to the road of hope in God.

Anyone who is among the living has hope. Ecclesiastes 9:4

No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame. Psalm 25:3

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:18, 19

View and share this excellent YouTube video from Joel Osteen, “God is in Control.”

Sexual Abuse from a Trusted Coach (Olympian Kayla Harrison)

By Dianne E. Butts:

Kayla Harrison, on having been sexually abused by her former coach and overcoming suicidal thoughts.

 

 

Image from Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Kayla Harrison started judo at six years old when her mother, Jeannie Yazell, a black belt, introduced her to the sport. She showed promise, winning two national titles before her 15th birthday. But behind the scenes, she was being sexually manipulated and abused by her judo coach, and that sexual abuse led Olympian Kayla Harrison to think about suicide.

The abuse started when Kayla was 13.

An article in the New York Times online, “For Judo Champion, a Painful Path to Gold” by Campbell Robertson revealed that “sexual contact led to sexual intercourse over a period of years, on trips to Venezuela, Russia and Estonia, until she was 16.”

In an article in The Telegraph (www.Telegraph.co.uk) titled “London 2012 Olympics: US Judoka Kayla Harrison overcomes horror of sexual abuse to aim for gold,” by Ian Chadband, Kayla said:

“When I was young, he would say, ‘We have to keep this between us or we will get into trouble’ and, honestly, as I got older, I was pretty brainwashed. I knew it was wrong but I thought I loved him. And I thought he loved me.’”

After three years, Kayla confided in her friend Aaron, who told her mother. Jeannie Yazell then “smashed out the coach’s car windows with a baseball bat” according to the NY Times article.

After Kayla exposed her coach as an abuser, she confronted him in court. Daniel Doyle was sentenced to ten years in prison and banned from the sport.

“I couldn’t look in the mirror and had no self-esteem. Now I can’t imagine not speaking up against that. It’s so wrong and I don’t want others to have to suffer what I did,” Kayla told The Telegraph. “One of the biggest things I’ve learned through all this is that you’re only a victim if you allow yourself to be. And though it feels like hell and it feels like it will never end, it will. But you have to have the courage to say ‘I won’t play victim’.”

Going for the gold in the Olympics kept her going. Her mother teamed her up with coach Jimmy Pedro, who helped her overcome the trauma of abuse and make the Olympic team. Her mother told the NY Times, “‘We just felt like she just had to get back to what she knew how to do… She could have control over what went on on the mat.’”

On August 2, 2102, Kayla won the first gold medal in judo for the United States.

But that’s not all. Kayla is now engaged to Aaron Handy, the friend she turned to for help. He’s a firefighter now. After the Olympics Kayla may return home to take the E.M.T. test and continue the process of becoming a firefighter herself.

Sexual abuse led Olympian Kayla Harrison to think about suicide. But she overcame abuse and suicidal thoughts to become a Gold Medal Olympian with a future filled with love, marriage, and a meaningful career. You can overcome your circumstances too, and have a future filled with hope.

 

Suicidal after Abuse, Kayla Harrison Found Help and the Gold

By Karen Boerger:

Although Kayla Harrison felt suicidal after abuse by a former coach, with help, support, and love she chose to live. This week Kayla won a gold medal in the 2012 Olympic games.

 

The 2012 Olympics are now over, and how the world cheered them on!

Television sets were tuned day and night into the visual extravaganza covering many athletic games. Amazing feats were performed by the athletes. One such athlete was a U. S. judo star, Kayla Harrison.

Kayla was born in Middletown, OH, July 2, 1990. At the age of 6 Kayla was introduced to the sport of Judo by her mother who held a black belt. Two years later she was introduced to her coach, Daniel Doyle. By the age of 15, Kayla had won two national championships.

However, during that time her coach was abusing her. She eventually told a friend, Aaron Handy, about the abuse because she could no longer take it emotionally. Hardy told her mother, who contacted the police. Doyle was subsequently convicted and sentenced to a ten-year prison term.

Kayla admits that during those years she was an emotional wreck, severely depressed, and suicidal. “I hated my life!”

After the abuse was revealed, she moved away to train with Jimmy Pedro and his father. The new coaches took a “tough love” approach. Jimmy told her, “You know kid, it happened to you, but it doesn’t define you and some day you’re eventually going to have to get over it.” That sounded good, but it wasn’t that easy. Two weeks later her coach found her on top of a two-story building ready to jump and stopped her.

Kayla says, “You’re only a victim if you allow yourself to be. Even though it feels like hell and it feels like it will never end, it will. But you have to have the courage to say I won’t play victim.”

Her case fits the profile of the typical case of sexual abuse. Sexual molestation, as well as physical and emotional abuse, has currently become rampant in American families. About 90% of abuse victims know the perpetrator and in 68% of cases, the perpetrator is a member of the child’s family. Kayla’s coach was a friend of the family who babysat, enjoyed barbecues at their home, etc.

Kayla’s life is good now. The friend she told about the abuse, Aaron, is now her fiancé. She’s also bringing home a gold medal, while being ranked #1 in the world in her division. Congratulations, Kayla!

You can click here for a related story and video about Kayla.

A Suicidal Man in God’s Emergency Room

By Karen Kosman:

(Excerpt from:  Too Soon to Say Goodbye: Healing and Hope for Suicide Victims and Survivors used with permission by New Hope Publishers.)

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When people are clinically depressed and even suicidal, they don’t necessarily want to die. Often a suicide attempt is a plea for help.

I awoke early one morning with heart arrhythmias. Not again, I thought. Having suffered with this condition for years, I found myself slipping into thoughts of self-pity. Why me?  I reached over and woke my husband, “John, I’m in a-fib. You need to drive me to the hospital.”

A short time later, I found myself flat on my back on a gurney, staring up at the ceiling in the ER.

Before another cycle of self-pity hit, I heard my doctor talking to the man in the next cubicle. “Sam, wake up. Have you been depressed? I need to know what you took.”

Quickly my focus changed from my situation to the suicidal man who attempted to take his life, God, please be with Sam, I prayed silently.

I knew all too well the devastation of suicide. I’d lost a son to suicide. God had carried me through difficult times and had brought compassion into my heart for those struggling with depression.

Moments later Dr. Ervin stood by my bedside.

“Karen, your heart rate has slowed, but you are still in a-fib. We’re going to move you across the hall to another section of the ER. You’ll be more comfortable there.”

“OK,” I replied.

With my husband by my side, I was rolled through two large doors and down the hallway into the next section. Moving from the gurney to the bed while tubes tangled from my body wasn’t easy.

A nurse assisted me. “Hi. My name is Jill.” Something shimmering around her neck caught my eye—a cross. Her brown eyes sparkled as she said, “You’re going to be OK.”

“I know.” I answered, staring at her cross.

Looking over at Jill, my husband said, “Karen is an author. She has to finish the book she is working on.”

Jill squeezed my hand and said, “So we need to get you well.”

A short time later I heard Jill tell another nurse, “She’s going to be OK. God sent her here for a purpose, besides encouraging me.”

I knew they were talking about me because I was the only patient on that side of the ER. I smiled. Again I thought about Sam and prayed, Lord, please help Sam. Help him to know you have a plan for his life.

A whooshing noise erupted as the doors opened, and a gurney appeared. I recognized the patient as the man who had been next to me in the other section. Again, the nurse and doctor asked Sam questions. I watched, listened, and prayed.

The doctor moved away from Sam’s side and walked over to the nurse’s station where he studied the monitors. Then I heard him say, “Looks like her heart rate is normal.” Moments later he stood by my bed and said, “You just converted back.”

“You mean I can go home?”

“Yes.”

Jill walked in smiling and said, “I knew you’d be OK.”

“Thank you for all your help. May I speak with Sam?”

“OK, but officially I don’t know about this,” Jill replied as she unhooked my monitors and IV.

I got dressed and walked to the other side of the room, closing the curtain behind me. I found Sam unconscious, but I trusted that he’d hear me.

“Sam, I’m not a nurse, I’m a patient, too. I wanted you to know that you are going to be OK. I know the heartache of depression, and I lost a son to suicide. I’ll be praying for you. God has a great plan for your life if you choose to live.”

His hand moved, although his eyes didn’t open. The next thing I knew his hand lay in mine. I smiled because I knew he’d heard me. His eyes fluttered but remained shut.

What a strange day, I thought. Who’d have guessed that a trip to the ER could be so full of promise and encouragement?

Suddenly, I remembered my question upon waking with an irregular heartbeat. Why me? And I realized that my question had been answered through the thoughtfulness of a nurse and a man named Sam who needed someone to care.

Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed;  Save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise. Jeremiah 17:14

Thank you, God, for giving me a glimpse into your emergency room.

You may find the following video helpful. Tamara Laroux:  Surviving a Suicide Attempt:

Release from Shame and Thoughts of Suicide

By Karen Kosman:

 

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Shame can be all-consuming, destroy confidence and self-worth, and may even drive a person to thoughts of suicide. It also makes it difficult for that person to make decisions, and fear of rejection often leads to isolation and increases the potential for suicide.

Feelings of shame may have developed in early childhood and followed a person into adulthood, or it may have been enforced on an individual by someone else.

My friend, Jeanne, can relate to the overwhelming power of despair and shame. Jeanne struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. She reached out to trusted spiritual leaders and friends about her struggle. One friend stated, “Just get your eyes off yourself.” Another friend said, “You need to praise more,” and handed her a book on Christian praising.

Jeanne states, “These comments caused me to force a smile and push my feelings of despair deeper into my heart. I longed to be free from my emotional pain, but felt ashamed that as a Christian I struggled with suicidal thoughts. Shame kept me imprisoned as I sank deeper into a pit of hopelessness. One night, I screamed out to God on my knees, as a giant invisible force urged me to take my life.

“Just do it,” the voice kept saying. I struggled the whole night between the forces of life and death. Early the next morning I called a counselor, and within hours, I received professional help. After a couple of sessions and tests my doctor said, “It’s biochemical.”

Jeanne suffered from a mood disorder, a medical condition that causes changes in the brain’s chemistry. With the proper medication, within weeks her brain chemistry became balanced and the cloud of depression that almost claimed her life lifted.

There are a number of mental disorders that cause chemical imbalances in the brain and may contribute to suicidal behavior. Being on medication for the rest of your lifetime is a small price to pay for peace of mind.

Today, Jeanne lives a happy, normal life, and she gladly reaches out to others, often sharing her journey through depression. Her words are now words of wisdom: “Depression and thoughts of suicide are the despairing heart’s final cry. If you know someone who is suicidal, listen and believe. Then guide them to safe, supportive counselors who are trained to listen and to help them.”

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:12-13 (NIV)

 

This story was taken from Too Soon to Say Goodbye: Healing and Hope for Suicide Victims and Survivors and used with permission by New Hope Publishers.

See this video devotional by Jeremy Camp Video, a Christian entertainer. He signs part of  his song There Will be a Day after the devotional.

 

Whether you feel shame about events forced on you, or shame for mistakes you chose, when you give your life to Christ all is made new! Check out 2 Corinthians 5:17  in the New Living Translation:

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

and  see Romans 8:1:

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Not sure how to find faith and have questions about God? Visit GodTest.com.