What Holds Your Hope?

By Deborah Lovett:

You CAN find hope.


Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If you came to our site because you are thinking about suicide today, allow me to ask you a very important question: What used to hold your hope?

Was it a person, a place you frequented, a drink, a drug, a child, a home?  Whatever it was, it must be gone now, or you wouldn’t be reading this blog and thinking about suicide.

Would you allow me to offer a suggestion during this profoundly discouraging time, where you are wondering if you can ever face life again as it used to be?

I know you are overwhelmed with life, and the life you once knew has exploded before your very own eyes for one reason or another.

I believe you can get your hope back. As a matter of fact, I know you can. You can move your heart from a place of torment to a place of peace, joy and even courage if you will just listen to what I have to say.

There is a God in heaven who has written your story. He is a God of hope, and of life not death. But there is an enemy who would like to rewrite God’s story and have it be one of discouragement and death. You can take the courageous story and believe that God can do the impossible in your life that you cannot see at this time. Or you can take the selfish, angry way out. You really do get to choose. But I caution you: for  to choose life you will have to call out, cry out, and rely on Jesus. You are used to relying on whatever it was that used to hold your hope that has dwindled before your very own eyes. God wants you to let Him be what and who and where you hold your hope.

This requires an eternal perspective that knows and has confident expectation that God has written your story and His grace can get you through to the other side of your current situation if you will sit long enough to believe in Him and that He guarantees you a future that will make your mess into a message of His love that holds your hope.

Victory really is possible if you believe. Death is the process of being defeated and that is not what God promises us.

Your hope cannot be in the size of your house, your bank account, your spouse, your friends, or your work. Your hope must be found in the Jesus who died for you, so that you could live a life free of shame and guilt and a lot of other miserable things.

It takes one step at a time. And the first step is to believe in this Jesus who died and rose again, to transfer this power to you so you could live victoriously and courageously.

Don’t give into your feelings today. Let your hope be found in God and let Him hold you until you know that you are in the palm of His Hand and He will never let you go. Hope is found in the empty tomb of Jesus Christ Himself, so call out His name, “JESUS”, for there is power and hope in His name. That is where you will find the hope to get you through this day.

Tomorrow read His Word, and Sunday go to church. Then find a Bible Study, and friends that will support you. Choose to believe and hope again your story isn’t finished yet.

If your lack of hope is linked to feelings of shame, see yesterday’s post:  Release from Shame. Also see another post by Deborah, mentioning having lost her own sister to suicide, in Thinking About Suicide? You are Loved.

Why Do I Suffer?

By Deborah Lovett :

 Then they returned to Lystra, Iconium and Antioch, 22 strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said. (Acts 14:22, NIV Bible)


If you are thinking about suicide today, wondering”Why do I suffer so much?”  I welcome you to think differently with me.

I believe God allows certain things in our lives so that we can share in the revelations of His love and suffering that we receive through our own hardships. Many times we only want to share in the ‘good’ things He allows into our lives, and don’t understand the other things He allows.

Many times people help feed fear, guilt and shame that may come from suffering. Granted, some suffering is a result of our own choices, some the choices of others: but some is neither.

Let me share a few of the insights God has been showing me:

  • He is the Redeemer of Suffering. He redeemed Jesus’ suffering and He will redeem ours, in His time. It is not called the “Death, Burial and Resurrection” for nothing!
  • The bigger the suffering, the bigger the plan, the bigger His glory and grace will be showcased!
  • God’s mission for us includes seeing things from an eternal perspective, and being available to Him. Therein lies our joy.
  • Many trials bring spiritual maturity–if we are listening.
  • There is a method to His madness!  It is spelled: LOVE.

Then as I sat there listening to Him intently; He asked me a question I didn’t want to hear, for I was asking just the opposite:

I was asking Him: “When do the trials end?”

He was asking me: “Even if the trials never end, will you trust Me?”

Remember not to live in your pain, as much as you do in the plan that God sets before you in that pain. Try to set aside your circumstances from your spirituality for a moment and find the purpose. It is equally important to remember that all of our suffering is not the result of some sin or failure. Job suffered because he was a righteous man. He was chosen to suffer, much like Jesus was the Chosen One.

Are you going through many trials? James 1:2 tells us:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”

How can you rejoice, you might ask? Well, if you are going through hardships “in Him” the book of John tells us we will bear much fruit. But apart from Him, we can do nothing. (15:4,5) So we can rejoice in Him, and the fruit that is waiting.

The enemy is on full force attack. But God promises in Deuteronomy 1:30 “The Lord your God who is going before you, will fight for you…before your very eyes and in the desert.” The next time you cry out, “Why do I suffer!”, choose to trust the Lord, and His purposes for you. Hang on to your hope and trust, God knows your hearts and will prove Himself faithful.

Disappointments in Life: Don’t Give Up!

By Deborah Lovett:


I always say disappointments are really God’s re-appointments. Today I have to remind myself of that. If you are contemplating suicide, please read on. I am finding God in the midst of disappointments and hope you can too.

Disappointments can lead to depression if wrong thinking is not nipped in the bud. I believe that depression can be an impression left from fear: the fear is that God really isn’t who He said He is. Or perhaps the fear is God didn’t say what I thought He said, or won’t do what He said. Thinking God didn’t come through for me is unbelief wrapped in fear.

Today we must make a plan, rather than analyzing, blaming and feeling sorry for ourselves. Start trusting and thanking. Turn our thinking upside down, because we know if we continue in our old thought patterns it will lead to a dead end. And you may miss out on some amazing re-appointments that God has already penciled into His calendar!

Consider these verses:

  • God does not show favoritism.  Romans 2:11 (All people do suffer at one time or another.)
  • With the Lord a day is like a thousand years. 2 Peter 3:8 (He has plenty of time to work in your life.)
  • “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (He is working on your behalf.)
  • “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14  (Rest and leave the results to God.)
  • …take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Ephesians 6:16 (Choose faith.)
  • The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;  I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10  (God always comes out on top~so we are more than conquerors.)
  • So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Cor. 4:18  (This disappointment is building important character in us that we need.)
  • Love never fails. 1 Cor. 13:8 (Bottom line: God loves you.)

Do you get the idea? God has a plan for you, he knows your future and he loves you!

Remember: if it feels as if He has failed you, God’s love may be protecting you from something or someone (or some place) that will not form you into His character, or that will hurt you not help you. He has promised in His Word to protect and provide.

Believe in faith that God really does have your back, no matter what it looks like with human eyes. (And if God hasn’t revealed that yet, wait patiently, He will, He is faithful.)

As you believe, God will illuminate your path until you reach your destination, which will surpass the disappointment every time. Keep turning those calendar pages, day by day, week by week, until you are no longer contemplating suicide in the midst of the disappointments. Don’t give in, don’t let up, and don’t quit.

Love always,


Guilt in Survivors After Suicide of a Loved One

By Deborah Lovett:

Left Behind: Do you feel guilt after the loss of a loved one to suicide?

Guilt in Survivors after Suicide of a Loved One


After my sister took her own life, the worst thing I had to deal with, besides the grief of losing my best friend, was the guilt I felt. If you are contemplating or thinking about suicide, you should read this article so you know what the aftershocks are to people you love, and who love you, whether you know they do or not.

If you have had someone in your life who has taken his or her own life and you are dealing with the survivors’ guilt, then read on.

The Bible says that the enemy comes to steal, lie and destroy. That is his only plan. He will do whatever it takes, and he is ruthless at it. If he succeeds at targeting a certain person into destroying their own life, his next plan is to succeed at their family through what is called “survivors guilt.” Suicides are “clustered” in a family for this very reason. Therefore, it is important to know and be informed in order to prevent the enemy from taking any more lives than he already has. The saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” is correct.

The thing with survivors’ guilt is this: We are each responsible for ourselves to God. Yes, we are to help one another. So yes, there might have been something else you could have done or said, but you are not responsible for the outcome of someone else’s life. That is why we need a Savior. Jesus is the One who saves. Also remember, you can only give a person as much help as they are willing to accept.

I helped my sister by driving her around, praying with her, advising her, giving her money, giving her furniture to start a new life, praying for her, and loving her. Yet, after her death, I felt like I should have done more, I missed something, it was my fault, or in a word: guilty. Why? Because it is the devil’s plan. Again, he is strategic and he is relentless, he will use whatever ammunition you give him.

The great thing about the Holy Spirit is He is relentless too. He will come to comfort you and give you wisdom and guidance if you are walking in step with Him.

He brought me a verse after my sister’s death when I was dealing with the feelings of guilt that were both agonizing and completely paralyzing. The verse is found in 2 Corinthians 7:10 and it says:

 “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”

I knew that my sister had a worldly sorrow that had brought death, and that I needed a Godly sorrow, a repentance for whatever I thought, felt or knew I had done or not done in regards to her death in order to find freedom. Jesus Christ died for our sins, past, present and future, those we did, think we did, or have been condemned by others into believing we did.

Christ has risen. We can have a new life with Christ that frees us from being someone else’s savior, including our own. We truly can celebrate resurrection and renewal every day of our lives!

If you are contemplating or thinking about suicide today, or have survivor’s guilt, remember why Jesus came: to save us from our sins, and to bring a true freedom from sin~ so that we can LIVE!

For help with guilt in survivors after suicide of a loved one, click here to read this free online book (PDF format):  SOS: A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide, by Jeffrey Jackson at suicidology.org.

Thinking About Suicide? You are Loved

By Deborah Lovett:

Joyce Meyers refers to it as Stinkin’ thinkin’. That is when you are thinking about suicide that steals the joy not only from yourself, but from those who love you.

Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy of your own soul saying you are ruined and unloved, and other various things that stand to destroy your life. Satan is a bluffer, and he does not get the last word!

That kind of thinking can eventually lead to suicide if it gets worse and is not stopped. Ask God to help you reverse your thought process by showing you some things you can be thankful for.  Turn on some praise music in order to start the reversal process right now.

If you can find a Bible you can find God. If you can find a phone and call the suicide hotline, you can find someone who wants to talk to you about your problems, which could be God’s intervention.

You see, in May 2008 my sister took her own life because she forgot she was loved by so many. She replayed the video of the lies of the enemy that reminded her she had lost everything: her children, her husband, her home, her job, and her reputation over and over.

That kind of stinkin’ thinkin’ can make you crazy. She had no idea of the aftershocks that would occur after she died. If she could have known how much we were to suffer because of losing her, I know she would never have wanted to hurt us that much. It has been like a tsunami whose waves of grief never end.

I don’t know why my sister made the horrible decision to give up, but I do know that God tried to get to her to stay by sending someone that offered to take her to church the same day. The lady said, “I knocked and she never answered.” My sister chose not to answer the door. There is always a choice.

If you are thinking about trying to take your own life, remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem that the devil wants you to believe is a permanent problem with no solution, which is actually a lie from the pit of hell. Yes, you may have problems, but believe me my God is in the miracle making business and the worst situations are not even a challenge for Him.

Take Jesus for example; they spit on him, whipped him, crucified him, and it looked absolutely hopeless. Yet three days later God raised him from the dead.

I know, I know, you are thinking but that was JESUS. Well, listen up: God does not play favorites. If you will give God three days of life, (we have been commanded not to murder) just three sunrises, I believe He will intervene in your life someway, somehow. All you need to do is listen, submit to His voice, and open the door when He knocks or sends someone to your door. Not sure you are hearing him? Give him another three days. And another!

You can  choose to not replay the video of darkness in your head over and over. As hard as it is to believe, you can choose to restart your life and begin to think about how God wants to actually bless you. Not only does He want to bless you, He has blessings waiting on you! You can begin by saying the name of Jesus, because the Word of God says there is POWER in the name of Jesus.

So if you are thinking about suicide, find God instead. Life, blessing, and a new life will follow if you will only believe and have the faith the size of a mustard seed.

I don’t know you, but I want you to know you are not alone. God is with you and I love you even though I have never met you. I really do!

You see, love is not based on what you do or don’t do. It is based on the command to love your neighbors just as Jesus loved us.

I am begging you not to hurt those you love, or yourself. Let the sun come up another day. Reach out, call someone, open a Bible, go to church, call your doctor, go to the hospital, do anything BUT stinkin’ thinkin’. The devil has taken enough from you already, don’t give him the satisfaction of your life too. God wants you to live and He has a purpose and plan for it. Just believe.