Depressed and Blind: Why Go On Living?

By Janet Perez Eckles:

Why go on living? Does life have meaning anymore? Yes.

 


Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I resented it, I really did. Words from friends and family directed to me, words that held no meaning. They didn’t because in my world, I saw no answers, solutions and no hope. I was given the sentence that I’d never be able to see the rest of my life, and wondered: How do I find meaning? Why go on living?

In vain, folks try to say the right thing, they want to help and lift my spirits.

Have you been there? You’re at your lowest and inside, negative emotions are about to explode. Words from others seem empty and meaningless.

That’s why, as I wrote this, I wondered if I would be able to make a difference in your life. My words might lack encouragement and my insights hold no meaning for you.

But I decided that I’d try anyway. And let you know that if you hang on one more day, look to one more good thing in your life, think of that person who would be destroyed if something happened to you—then my words may hold some meaning for you.

I’ve been where you are. And when my heart echoed that I’d never be productive again due to my blindness, I found meaning for life in God’s Word. He repeated His promise that there will be triumph after the tragedy.

I believed that promise; I embraced it as my own. Then I gave one last sob and meaning became clear. The significance that my life—with its darkness and valleys—had a purpose.

And now…well, God fulfilled His promise because I’m writing, traveling, speaking, working. And  holding on to the white cane of faith, I take one step at a time.

He said there will be peace after pain. I found His Word to be true, for me and it will be for you.

Tomorrow will look differently, if you choose to see your circumstance through God’s eyes. I did. And after hope came back, the scenery never looked more beautiful.

See Janet Perez Eckles, originally from Bolivia, in this TV interview describing her hardships and how she overcame them.

From about 5:00 to 17:00 in the video is Janet’s description of how she devastated she was when became blind and nearly lost her husband as well. Yet her life was changed, with God’s help.

Why go on living? Because God is with you, and He has a purpose for your life.

Do you know that Janet also suffered the grief of having her teen son killed? Is it possible to bear this much grief? See her article at Finding God Daily: Finding God in Grief When My Son Died and also her story  Forgiveness Brings Peace, at the Christian Record. You can also videos of Janet’s testimonies in SPANISH (Español)  HERE.

Janet Perez’ testimony, in Spanish: Te invito a escuchar una porción de mi testimonio:

Blindness and Thoughts of Suicide

By Janet Perez Eckles

He turns your thoughts of suicide to a song.

“I hate my life,” I cried out to God.“ I sobbed. “I don’t deserve to be blind. Why me?”

My clamors to God filled my sleepless nights. I was only 31; my sons at the time were 3, 5 and 7. They needed me and I needed someone to help me deal with my intense fear and anguish.

Doctors didn’t have a cure, treatments didn’t work, and even those painful acupuncture needles around my eyes didn’t help. I was desperate and would tried anything so I could to regain my eyesight.

“Are you okay, honey?” my mom asked.

“I’m fine,” I lied. The retinal disease I inherited from my father wasn’t anyone’s fault. But accepting my blindness was beyond me.

Some have thoughts of suicide, others turn angry and I was sinking in self-pity.

Then a friend invited me to her Christian church. I heaved a long sigh of hope. And thought I’d try to see if that secret miracle I longed for would be waiting for me there. But sadly, there was no miracle, no healing. But one day, unexpectedly, like a warm injection to my soul, a verse filled me:

 “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33.

I committed to make Him first. Regaining my sight came second. I drew closer to Him, and farther from my pain. My despair subsided. I believed in that promise. I put aside my anguish and invited His strength.

Eventually, step by step he changed those thoughts of suicide I could’ve had to a song as you can see in the YouTube video below:

My new song plays a melody of hope, a marked beat of His reassurance and, a symphony   of joy for my soul.