How can having self-confidence stop bullying?
Nothing attracts a bully like lack-of-confidence. In fact, showing good self-confidence is a great defense against being bullied. But how do you get self-confidence? Do you find it in the mirror or in the words of your peers?
That would be nice, but that won’t always work, especially if you dislike some of your features, or if your friends (or non-friends) sometimes tease or harass you. But no worries, you can still show self-confidence to stop bullies with these 5 simple steps.
1. Know that You are Loved
Confidence cannot be combed into place or wiped away with blemish cream. In fact, you can be confident no matter what you look like, especially if you know this one little secret — God loves you. (Yes, there really is a God and he really does care about you.) You can learn more about how to have a relationship with God at: www.GodTest.com. But before you check out the ‘test’ or helps on that website, try saying the following out loud.
God loves me and if God loves me, I love me too.
Was that hard to say? If it was, try saying it again. Next, try writing it down on a post-it note or note card and put it where you can see it several times a day. For the more you see it and say it, the easier it will be to believe it. This believing will have a big pay-off because the more you believe it, the more confidence you will have.
2. Look Confident
You can learn to project confidence even when you don’t feel confident, but it may take practice. A recent article reported, “People are less likely to be picked on if they walk and sit with awareness, calm, respect, and confidence. Projecting a positive, assertive attitude means keeping one’s head up, back straight, walking briskly, looking around, having a peaceful face and body, and moving away from people who might cause trouble.”
This may mean you need to practice in front of a mirror so that you will learn to walk with confidence, head up, as you stride purposefully. You may need to practice how you sit in a chair so you don’t look small or afraid, but instead look sure of yourself. You may even need to practice how you smile and say hello to others. Notice how others who seem confident greet others and take some pointers. Practice speaking in a clear, calm voice when you are in private so you can do so when you are with others.
3. Learn to Walk Around a Bully as Well as His Reach
What are the best words to say to a bully who confronts you? Imagine this; with confidence you say in reply to a snide remark, “Have a nice day,” or “See you later.” Next, calmly change seats, step out of line, or just walk away.
4. Don’t be afraid to say, “Stop, I don’t Like That.”
If someone is physically tapping, kicking, or hitting you say, “Stop. I don’t like that,” and say it loudly. Try practicing this with your hands on your hips, with a clear firm voice. This practice will help you be ready if you really need say it to a bully. If that time should come and more help is needed, go get an adult.
5. Take a Stand For Yourself
Practice telling yourself the opposite of a remark meant to hurt or insult you. I found good advice on how to do this in a great article in Kid Power which advices, “If someone says, ‘I don’t like you,’ you can throw those words away and say, ‘I like myself.’ If someone says, ‘You are stupid’ you can throw those words away and say, ‘I’m smart.’ If someone says, ‘I don’t want to play with you’ then you can throw those words away and say, ‘I will find another friend.’”
For more help, watch what teen Macbarbie has to say about how to get self-confidence, stop bullies, and develop inner-beauty.