Thinking ‘I Don’t Want to Live Anymore’? Here’s Hope

Please don’t give up, even if your spouse left you.  Thinking, ‘I don’t want to live anymore’? There is hope, even in a broken marriage.

Linda Rooks, author of Broken Heart on Hold: Surviving Separation shares thoughts on remaining hopeful:

By Linda Rooks:

“He said he doesn’t love me anymore.”

“She left me.”

I have heard that over and over from those attending our classes and in e-mails I receive.

A spouse walks out the door saying these words, and the one left behind feels like life has no more meaning, sometimes even thinking ‘I don’t want to live anymore‘.

Due to shock, rejection and all the accompanying emotions, the abandoned spouse’s mind spins in all different directions, collecting memories and fears that spiral him or her down into an abyss of depression. Sometimes when that person hits bottom, they haven’t the will to crawl out. Everything seems hopeless.

As devastating as this feels, however, it may not be the end of the relationship, but a detour.

If this is where you are right now, this may be a time to get away so you can reassess your life and make adjustments.

Along with giving your spouse space and allowing things to unfold at an unhurried pace; along with realizing feelings can change and finding encouraging friends (see my other post, He Doesn’t Love Me Anymore, I Want to Die)  the following approaches might lead you toward healing and restoration. A reconciled marriage can’t be guaranteed, of course, but the following can build bridges to hope:

  • Keep your sanity by putting your spouse “on the back burner” and focusing on God. Otherwise, the default mode is to become obsessed with your situation and your spouse. Spend time reading the Bible, attend church and local Bible studies, listen to radio and television teachers, listen to Christian praise CDs, and read Christian books.
  • Humbly seek God’s direction. Let Him show you any changes He wants you to make that will fulfill you as a person and perhaps bring peace and healing to your marriage as well. Each partner in a marriage brings weaknesses as well as strengths to the relationship.  Pray and ask God to reveal what you can do to become more the person God wants you to be.  Try to identify in yourself habits, reactions, or behaviors that may be a hindrance to a good marital relationship.
  • Take time to nurture yourself.  The stress in your relationship in recent times may have caused you to neglect yourself.  Rekindle some of those interests you may have put aside.  Just make sure they are legal, moral and not too expensive.
  • After giving your spouse space for a while, each time you have contact try to focus on something to appreciate about him/her—and say it.  This may seem difficult, but if you can humbly and sincerely begin to look for the positive, you may set a tone that leads to healing.
  • Pray for your spouse, your marriage, and yourself.  Seek God’s wisdom.  God sees the whole picture, not just the small part that you can see right now.  He can guide you into a future that will unfold blessings you can only dream of now.
Don’t let your husband or wife define who you are.  God created you and loves you.  He has a plan for you and He will guide you through this time.

If your spouse said, “I don’t love you anymore” and you are still thinking ‘I don’t want to live anymore’, watch the following video. There is hope. Feelings can change, and if you give God time, He can bring healing to your life.

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If depressed and suicidal, get help by dialing the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24-hour hotline. IF IN IMMEDIATE DANGER of harming yourself or someone else, please call 911.1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or (in Spanish)
1-877-SUICIDA (1-877-784-2432).
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Our blog, Thinking About Suicide, offers personal stories and prayers from those who have overcome the urge to commit suicide or lost someone to suicide. We also list resources related to depression, bullying, cutting and other mental health related topics or news.
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Use our SEARCH box at the top of the page to find articles on specific topics. Our authors hope to encourage you and remind you that others in situations like yours have found hope and help. We hope and pray you do too. However, we also encourage you to get local help if you are suicidal: call a counselor or the suicide prevention hotline to connect personally with someone who can help you.

Comments

  1. I have wasted my life, my soul, my love my money, my all into the wrong relationships. They haven’t respected me just used. I don’t have strenght to live, my health is gone too and I have many medications for different kind of pains. I’m very tired and alone. Feeling I’m not beautiful enough and I’m old too now. I have wasted my life. Nobody reallly cares. I want to die. I looked at the car today: ok just drive I don’t care.

    • ThinkingAboutSuicide.com says:

      We care, Mary, and there are now already at least 3 people praying for you. God can give you NEW life, and all that was wasted will be wiped away. We truly believe that God loves you and sees your loneliness and can heal your wounded heart. Give him a chance to give you new life. It says in 11 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things are passed away; behold, new things have come.” That means starting this very moment, he can give you a fresh start in life: please ask Him. Also restministries.com offers support for those who have chronic pain–the owner of the site experiences that herself. And you are never too old to experience the grace, mercy and joy God can give you! I know a man who is in his 70’s who now ministers to men who have been abused. One last note–please don’t drive when you are feeling this way. I nearly lost my own life to a suicidal driver in another car, and you could take the life of someone else’s mother, father, or child. But most important, your own life has value. Start by asking God for the strength to live today, and tomorrow, one day at a time.

    • Linda Evans Shepherd says:

      Mary, the author of lies would love for you to believe his lie that your life is wasted, he would love to see you sacrifice your own life for this lie. Don’t do it. God has yet another plan of hope and redemption for you. But you’ll have to choose to live in order to discover what it is.
      I’m praying for you now…

      Dear Lord,
      I come against the lie of the enemy that Mary’s life is worthless and that she has no future. I cancel that lie in the power and authority of the name of Jesus. Father I pray that you would open Mary’s eyes to the truth of your love for her, to the hope, and purpose she can have if she but chooses to trust you and live.
      I pray this in the power and authority of the name of Jesus.

      Mary, go to http://www.GodTest.com for more helps. Take the survery there, and read some of our letters.
      We love you!!
      Love
      Linda

    • Mary, I can completely understand your feelings. People can disappoint us so badly. Unfortunately, we all have that fallen nature that gives into selfishness. And when others take what we give them without appreciating the gift we are giving, and then discards us from their life, it is the worst pain a person can feel. But what I’ve found is that there is a love that never lets us go, a love that loves us no matter how we mess up, and no matter how old we get. It’s a love that looks beneath our looks and into our heart and soul; it’s a love that loves us to the core of our being. God loves you so much . . . and you know what else? He thinks you’re beautiful because He MADE you. You are special to Him and He longs for you to love Him back. I pray that you will lift your eyes to Him right now and seek to find Him and know Him. He can lift this heaviness from your heart and soul and give you a new purpose. He longs for you to come to Him. Open your heart to Him. Let Him bless you with the strength that only comes from Him. Let Him give you a new future. “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

      God bless you, Mary!!

    • Mary, we all love you
      Please don’t give up……………

  2. i realy give up….holy spirit takes sometimes to help me…
    please if someone can help me,,,,i’am realy want to stop leaving in these world

  3. Me and my girlfriend are on the verge of breaking up. We’ve been together almost 5 years and she has been my rock, energy to challenge myself. Now, I’m already thinking how I should end my life. I don’t want to live with the memories we have together. I know it sounds selfish but I cant live without her. I just want to disappear to prevent the heartache and pain of being without her, or see her with someone new. I just don’t want to be here.

    • Thinking About Suicide says:

      Hi Andy, So sorry to hear about your situation. I know it can be difficult to imagine such a change in your life. But I can already tell that you have an active imagination as you have been using it to think of ways to end your life so that you will no longer have pain.
      But let me suggest that you use your imagination to explore other possibilities….
      What if failing to rise to the challenge to come up with another solution for your trouble does not in fact end the pain, but creates an eternity of pain?? To read more about another woman’s experience with this, check out our article Will I Go to Hell if I Commit Suicide?

      But even if hell is unimaginable to you — perhaps you can find it within yourself to imagine a new future, a future where you struggle for a while perhaps, but go on to find happiness and hope. Yes, it is possible. The reason you have not been able to see these possibilities is that you need to willfully change the channel of your imagination. Stop watching the show, ‘How I will die,’ and tune in to ‘How I will live.’

      I believe in God, and I also believe in hope. Why not give God a challenge…by telling him:

      God, if you are real, show me that there are other possibilities for my life, possibilities to have hope and a future and even happiness. For the Bible teaches: Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

      Therefore I give you a challenge, help me to see new possibilities – possibilities to become a new man in you, possibilities to either heal my relationship or to see a new future where you lead me to a brighter tomorrow. Help me to change the channel of my imagination to hope and life and to turn off my fasination with death. In fact Lord, please cancel the spirit of death from over my life – that would trick me into an eternity without you.
      In Jesus’ name
      Amen

      P.S. If you want to know more about how to have a relationship with God, please take our test at:
      http://thinkingaboutsuicide.com/take-test/

      We are praying for you!
      With Love,
      Linda

  4. I have no will to continue my life. My husband used to hit me after that he would vanish and go drinking for days.he jas stopped that now but i still get cussed at regularly and get threatened with divorce. I used to be beautiful and slender. Now i am fat and ugly. I get told that i am as well. My mum is terminally ill with cancer. My dad and i have no relationship at all. I have never been good enough. I feel i am a horrible mother to my child as i am always tired and the house always needs to be clean. I feel trapped between the walls of my home. I am tired right down to my soul.

    • Thinking About Suicide says:

      My sweet friend. I am so sorry that your husband and life have been so cruel to you. Please know that I am praying for you. Also, I see you through the eyes of the Lord, and I see you are someone He loves so very much. I see your beauty, I see your goodness. I see that you are a precious person. I hope you have a church, or that you could have a church — with Christian counseling. I think they may have some resources to help you. Or if you do have a counselor, please call and make an appointment. You a have a purpose. For starters, your child needs you more than you realize. Do not give up, do not give in. You have more purpose if your life than you can imagine. Do not let the darkness steal your purpose.
      My friends and I are all praying for you.
      Love,
      Lindaa

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