God Help Me with My Marriage Problems

By Linda W. Rooks:

All day my heart had been racing uncontrollably and my breathing was shallow.  Fear had entangled me in its web as I fought to understand what was happening with my marriage problems.

All I could say to God was, “Please, God, let me die. I can’t bear this pain.” Then I realized I was sinking deeper and deeper into the mire, and I cried out, “God help me. You can take me home if you want, but save me out of this pit.”

With my body limp from depression, but my sense of duty calling me to fulfill the job I had for the evening, I got in the car and headed for the superstore to buy some supplies for the meeting that night.

As I drove into the parking lot and wound between the lanes of cars, I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper into the pit of despair that had been pulling me under for the past two days.  I could scarcely breathe.

“Linda, Linda, Linda . . . don’t do this to yourself.  Linda.” A voice was calling to me, an inner voice that repeated my name over and over. I heard the words clearly in my head.  “Linda, I love you. You are precious to me. Don’t do this to yourself.”

Although it was not an inaudible voice, I recognized it nonetheless. The focus of my thoughts lifted from the pit and disengaged from the pain inside. I raised my eyes to something higher, something bigger. A flood of peace poured through me. God was calling out to me. No, I couldn’t depend on the love of my husband right then, not with our marriage problems, but I could depend on a love that was stronger, a love that would not let me go.

The Creator of Heaven and Earth cared about me. He was walking beside me and calling my name, even in the midst of my marriage troubles. My eyes had been so focused on my pain, so lost in the mire, that I couldn’t see Him. But now, as I heard him calling out to me, I knew He had not left me. I was not alone, and I would be alright. The words of the 23rd Psalm streamed into my head:

“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me.”

Whether I could see Him or not, I knew God had been there all along and would continue to walk beside me while I dealt with my marriage problems. If you are also having marriage problems, know that God’s message for me that difficult night is also for you. Take a deep breath, and know that he will get you through your difficulties, just as he did for me.

If you are wondering if prayer could help your marriage problems, watch prayer author Stormie Omartian address this very subject:

 

 

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If depressed and suicidal, get help by dialing the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24-hour hotline. IF IN IMMEDIATE DANGER of harming yourself or someone else, please call 911.1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or (in Spanish)
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Comments

  1. Thank you, Linda, for an inspiring and personal piece. I had thoughts like this during my first marriage. I never came close to suicide but I wished one of us would die and get it over with. But then I thought about my children and my own life–which were precious to me. God intervened and I am so grateful.

  2. ThinkingAboutSuicide.com says:

    We received a letter from Jenny, who married a man in the U.S. and during 3 ½ years found him very controlling.

    She wrote, “All i know, if i could stay one more days with my husband, i felt like i could die. i was on the rock bottom. I’ve been asked help from my family and his family. I cried every night and couldn’t sleep at all. I deeply hurt and angry. I hurt so much, i lost my point why should i continue to have this marriage. so i decided to space out from my husband and come back to my country. I had no choice to come back to my country. Since he controls all money, i didn’t have any money. I didn’t have right visa to work in the states. I wanted to take my 2 years old child with me , but my husband disagree. I had to come back by my self. I hated marriage, myself and my husband. I got hurt so deep down. It was extremely painful of my heart.”

    Jenny has now been separated for 3 years, and her son is 6. At first she prayed her husband would change and say it was all his fault. She asked God if she should stay married. Now she prays she won’t give up on the marriage, and that she and her husband could love each other with God’s help. But he now wants a divorce and to marry someone else.

    Jenny asks: “Linda, what does god want from me?? I know he is good god who makes good out of bad. I know there is hope if i keep trust god. However i don’t know how to pray at this moment. Should i keep praying for my husband be happy (he looks very happy with new woman now). or should i keep praying about our marriage and my son. I want to keep pray for my marriage before finalize my divorce. I don’t want to give up. but i’m confused. Should let go of my husband?? I need god wisdom. Please Linda help me about this. Tell me how should i pray to the god about this matter.”

  3. ThinkingAboutSuicide.com says:

    Jenny, I’m so sorry you are having to go through this difficult trial. I can tell from your words how deeply painful this is. It sounds like things were very difficult between you and your husband before you left and went back to your country.

    You are certainly right that there are always two sides to a marital impasse, and I’m glad you can now see your own part in the problem. However, while you seem to feel better about it now and feel like you would be able to handle it better if you got back together, it doesn’t sound like there is any reason to believe things would actually be any different between you.

    It’s possible that these long four years have made you a bit sentimental so that you forget some of what you were dealing with, particularly if you have not seen each other during that time. If you should get back together, it would be best to first have time to work things through with him by going to counseling or attending a marriage program that could help you deal with the problems you were having. Otherwise you could find yourself right back in the situation that was such a nightmare before you left.

    But since he no longer wants the marriage, how should you pray? The first and most important thing you can do is truly put your life in the hands of Jesus. Jesus loves you, and He wants to be in a relationship with you. When we surrender our lives to Jesus and seek His will for our lives, He will walk beside us in our troubles. He has a plan for you.

    None of us—certainly not me—can tell you exactly what to do. But if you truly put your focus on Jesus, He will give you strength and guidance to do what you need to do. I would suggest that you might want to read my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. You can see more about it at http://brokenheartonhold.com The book can be like a friend to you and help you get stronger as you focus on the Lord and make decisions.

    You might also want to read another post I wrote on this blog, http://thinkingaboutsuicide.com/category/problems/marriage-troubles/

    Also, even if your husband decides to get a divorce, the main relationship you might want to focus on is the relationship with your child. It would be good for you to talk to an attorney to make sure you maintain the right to spend time with him and stay in touch with him regardless of what happens between you and your husband.

    Jenny, I am praying for you and know that others in this ministry are praying for you as well. Jesus loves you. You are special to Him. Give all of this to Him. He will show you the way.

    God bless you!! Linda Rooks

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