Coping if Your Husband Committed Suicide: Help for Survivors

By Karen O’Connor:

How can one possibly recover from the death of a husband from suicide?


Praying hands photo from

God can help.

“I found my husband hanging on the front door of our home.”  Virginia, a university professor shared her experience with me as she talked about the shock that rushed through her mind and body at such a sight. “Fortunately, I was able to function sufficiently to notify law enforcement and they took it from there.”

If your husband committed suicide you’re likely to feel numb at first. Virginia recalled her initial reaction. “He didn’t have to do THIS!” and then she thought, what a waste of potential. “I went from weeping to staring into space,” she said.

“The thing that helped me most was people telling me, ‘It’s not your fault.  He did this, not you.’ I needed to hear it over and over again. Now I say to survivors ‘You will get through this. Your husband’s suicide does not define who you are––but it will certainly impact who you become.'”

Virginia is clear in her mind that she would not have survived without the presence of the Holy Spirit and the strength she gained from her faith in God. She also found a wonderful Christian counselor who walked her through the adjustment to a new way of life.

“I would advise other survivors to keep moving through the grieving process with another person, such as a trained counselor, or joining a support group for suicide survivors led by a mental health professional.” Without that help there’s a strong temptation to handle things on your own. But that can lead to withdrawal and getting stuck.

At  Daily Strength you can find a group comprised of people just like you.:

Christian counseling can also help you resolve the “where was God?” question that you may struggle with the death of a husband from suicide.

Listen to this inspiring sermon from Joyce Meyer on trusting God when you don’t understand.

 Karen O’Connor is an author, writing mentor, and frequent contributor to the Finding God Daily blog. Visit Karen on the web at

For more help if  your husband committed suicide, or if someone else you love has taken their own life, click to our other post: Guilt in Survivors After Suicide of a Loved One.

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If depressed and suicidal, get help by dialing the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24-hour hotline. IF IN IMMEDIATE DANGER of harming yourself or someone else, please call 911.1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or (in Spanish)
1-877-SUICIDA (1-877-784-2432).
Our blog, Thinking About Suicide, offers personal stories and prayers from those who have overcome the urge to commit suicide or lost someone to suicide. We also list resources related to depression, bullying, cutting and other mental health related topics or news.
Use our SEARCH box at the top of the page to find articles on specific topics. Our authors hope to encourage you and remind you that others in situations like yours have found hope and help. We hope and pray you do too. However, we also encourage you to get local help if you are suicidal: call a counselor or the suicide prevention hotline to connect personally with someone who can help you.

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