Look Here For Hope

April 7, 2013 by Leave a Comment

help me God, suicide, the suicidal, help, facts, prevention, your problems, survivor’s guilt, survivor stories, and the loss of a loved one — as well as info for anyone thinking about suicide, suicde.Welcome! We have helps, statistics, and hope, just for you with comprehensive resources that discuss suicide, the suicidal, help, facts, prevention, your problems, survivor’s guilt, survivor stories, and the loss of a loved one — as well as info for anyone thinking about suicide. As we create articles on different aspects of depression, you may find some to be more meaningful to you than others. If you leave a comment, someone on Our Team will respond with a follow-up comment here on this site, when able.  We offer encouragement from personal experience points of view, so urge you to seek counseling if you need professional help. (See our disclaimer.)

If you are contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). We also hope you will find hope and encouragement here on our site. If you have lost a loved one to suicide, our desire is to help you through that pain and loss to a brighter future through the articles below.

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Treatment for Depression; Seasonal Affective Disorder and Nutritional Deficits

February 25, 2013 by Leave a Comment

By PeggySue Wells:

Treatment for depression should include addressing nutritional deficits. Also, Seasonal Affective Disorder causes depression in some.

 

Doctor Writing On Clipboard by stockimages

Image from stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

Feeling depressed? Having suicidal thoughts?

According to Dr. Michael Lyles, doctor of psychiatry and neurology at Crawford and Lyles in Georgia, these feelings and thoughts may be symptomatic of physical conditions that are easily remedied.

Our bodies send messages to alert us when something in our system is off balance. Depression can be the symptom of several treatable conditions including:

  • Lack of magnesium
  • Low levels of vitamin B
  • Not enough vitamin D
  • Thyroid imbalance
  • Testosterone below normal levels
  • Iron deficiency
  • Inadequate sleep
  • Poor diet 

Additionally, feelings of depression and thoughts of suicide may be a symptom of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Certainly feelings of depression and thoughts of suicide may be exactly that. A simple step forward is to ask your doctor for a blood test that will quickly show deficiencies and treatment can begin immediately. Correcting these conditions may be all that is necessary.

If your feelings of depression and thoughts of suicide remain, your doctor can help you find additional help.

Don’t wait.

To listen to Lynne Ford interview Dr. Michael Lyles about causes of depression and treatment for depression,  click  HERE.

In that interview (especially the last 3/4 of the interview) Dr. Lyles addresses Seasonal Affective Disorder, nutrition deficits, depression in pregnancy, medication interactions, stress and other causes. He also discusses reluctance in Christians to seek out help for depression and how to find help.

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Grief and Suicidal Thoughts: Loss of a Baby

February 13, 2013 by Leave a Comment

By Karen Kosman:

Sometimes grief and suicidal thoughts go hand-in-hand, and the loss of a baby may seem too great to bear. But God is there to comfort you.

 

grief, suicidal thoughts, moses basket

God can heal your broken heart–even after the terrible loss of a baby.

My body ached and my heart throbbed with sorrow. Surrounded by family and friends we stood at Kim’s gravesite, all eyes resting on my baby daughter’s small casket.

The wind blew softy against my cheeks as my tears cascaded down. I looked at the grief-ridden faces of my husband, daughter, and son.

How do I help them to go on? How do I say goodbye?

Briefly my mind traveled back to the first time I held Kim. I’d marveled at her tiny, delicate features and auburn curls on top of her head, highlighted with gold streaks. Back in the present I questioned, How do I go on?

As the days turned into weeks my emotions vacillated up and down. At my lowest point of grief I questioned why God hadn’t taken me instead.  Each day depression robbed me of joy. I questioned how I could believe that Kim is in heaven and feel so grief stricken and depressed.

Home alone, one morning, while cleaning my kitchen I found a package of forget-me-not flower seeds shoved at the back of a drawer. On the back someone had written Kim’s name. I immediately went outside and planted them. A few weeks later their blue blossoms filled the garden.

I allowed myself to embrace our precious moments with Kim. I realized as I listened to my children’s feelings how much they needed me to go on. We began praying together and talking about our feelings—talking openly began healing our hearts.

We stayed busy. Working on school projects and home projects brought back normal routines. The days became easier. We counted the many blessings Kim’s life brought to others: My mother accepted Christ and was baptized because of the love she’d witnessed from our church family. Friends began to tell me things like, “Kim’s short life made me ponder about my own life and eternal destiny,” or “I value life more.” But one comment really touched my heart, “Kim’s life made me realize how precious every moment is.”

The shortest verse in the Bible is found in John 11:35, “Jesus wept.” At the lowest point in my sorrow I remembered this verse.

Yes, Jesus wept for the heartache and loss Lasarus’ family and friends felt at his death.  As I thought about the compassion of Christ I felt comforted. I began to realize God understood my grief. As the oppressive blanket of grieve began to lift, joy came back into our lives. I am grateful that I had God to lean on in my sorrow and thankful I didn’t give in to my fleeting thoughts of wanting to die.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

My daughter’s life, although brief, had purpose and still does. I am grateful for the precious gift God granted us in Kim.

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God Loves You and Approves of You

February 11, 2013 by Leave a Comment

By Karen O’Connor:

 You may not think it’s true that God loves you and approves of you, but he does. He says so in the Bible:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew and approved of you” (Jeremiah 1:5).

God loves you, thumbs up, approval

Image by mack2happy / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Imagine: the God of the universe is on your side and has been for all time. Your life is important to him and to those around you.

If you are thinking about suicide today or have thought about it in the past, I urge you to take a moment to consider this. Above all your friends, your family, your coworkers, your neighbors—God cares about you and says that your life counts.

That means you can start over today.

Pastor Joel Osteen in his message of encouragement this week, Before You Were Born, says the following:

“No matter how you may be feeling right now, no matter whose approval you didn’t get on this earth, know that Almighty God loves you and approves of you today. There’s nothing you can do now or ever to change that. You may be thinking, “I’ve made so many mistakes, how can God approve of me?

“Understand that when God sees you, He separates you from your behavior. He may not approve of your actions all the time, but He desires to help you grow and make better choices.”

Here are three steps you can take right now to start over, trusting that God loves and approves of you and wants to be Lord of your life.

  1. Buy or borrow a bible and read one psalm each day.
  2. Jot down what you learned from that reading and how it applies to you.
  3. Tell someone you trust that you want to make a fresh start and ask for support.

View and share this excellent YouTube video from Joel Osteen “Dealing With Negative Influences.”

 

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I Hate my Job!

December 2, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Linda Evans Shepherd:

I once met a woman who told me, “I hate my job,” and expressed that she wanted to die.  But as we began to talk, what  happened next was so remarkable that I wrote about it in my book, When You Don’t Know What to Pray – How to Talk to God About Anything.

See the excerpted story below:

After speaking at an event in Iowa, I was chatting with the soloist when a grandmother in her early sixties approached us. Her conference nametag read “Barb” and she said, “Linda, I appreciated your talk today on joy but it didn’t help me.”

Startled, I stared as she continued, “I can’t go on. I’m no good to anyone. It’s like I’m already dead.”

My friend Jackie’s eyebrows shot into her hairline and she looked to me as if to say, “Yikes! What do we do?”

I studied the woman before me. Her eyes were dull and her face hard. She was in incredible emotional pain. “What’s happened to you, Barb?” I asked softly.

Barb frowned, then in one long breath she said, “My husband died last year of a heart attack. I hate my job. I was left to raise my granddaughters and I’m doing a terrible job. My son-in-law committed suicide and I think he had the right idea. I’ve decided I should kill myself too.”

I asked, “Who are you mad at?”

Her blue eyes locked with mine. With a trembling voice she answered, “I loathe myself and I’m mad at God.”

I nodded slowly, comprehending her fury and replied, “That’s okay. God’s big enough to handle your anger. Do you want to let go of it? Do you want to give God your anger?”

She nodded her head and together we knelt on the carpet. There on the hotel conference room floor, with conference attendees milling around us and Jackie looking on, Barb let go. She not only gave God her anger, she also gave Him her burdens, hurts, and disappointments with a simple prayer, “I give it all to you Lord, the anger, the burdens, everything.”

When we finished, Jackie and I witnessed an amazing transformation. Color returned to Barb’s cheeks. Her eyes glistened. The hardness in her face evaporated as if she’d received an instant facelift. It was a stunning moment as we witnessed Barb’s return from the dead.

Barb and I stood up and hugged. I said, “Barb, this is what it feels like to be free.”

Barb jumped and clapped her hands. “Oh, I didn’t know this could happen. I am free. I’m free. I’m free!”

If you are finding yourself in the same situation as this woman, why not pray a prayer of your own.

Dear Lord,

I’m so angry about my job situation, and all the people who have contributed to my difficulties, including my boss, my co-workers, me and even You!  But I’m willing to give you my anger, to lay it at your feet, and to say to you, I give my anger over my job to you, Lord, it’s now your problem.  Help turn this situation around into a miracle.

In Jesus’s name,

Amen.

 Speaking of miracles, Zig Ziglar, who passed a few days ago , was a man who spent his 86 years living life with zest as he helped others find their purpose.  Watch him tell about a woman he met who also hated her job, and how he helped her turn her situation around.  His solution is brilliant and I think it might also work for you.

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Japanese Students – Please do not Kill Yourself

September 28, 2012 by Leave a Comment

This is a message to all Japanese Students – Please do not kill yourself!

Currently suicide is the leading cause of death in many age groups in Japan.  This is partly because suicide is often a considered solution if one feels they have shamed themselves or their family.  Today, even school children commit suicide simply because they made a mistake or got a lower grade than they had intended.  Recently, I met a teacher from Japan, who is sad to lose so many of his students to what he called ‘senseless deaths.’  He asked me to write an article which would show an important alternative to student suicide.

So, this article is written to the young (and old) students of Japan:  Please do not kill yourselves! Japaneses students, please do not commit suicide!

Despite you or your family’s or society’s expectations, shame is not a good reason to take your life as I will explain below.

Consider this; if you should live past this shame, you will get a chance to honorably redeem your grade (or situation) another day.  Life will continue, and this incident, which seems shameful right now, may even be forgotten in time.  If you live, you will have a chance to bring honor to yourself and family, even marry, raise a family, find in a job,  perhaps in part because you learned how to handle shame and disappointments with honor and grace.  But no matter what you decide to do, you must know this sacred secret I am about to share with you.

The secret is this; there is hope for you when you discover the God above all gods– a God many people in Japan know and meet every day.  This great God is a God who has a different plan for both you  and your shame.  I would very much like to introduce to you to this God.

This mightly, holy God wants, more than anything, to love you and to be your constant companion.  But he had a problem.  He was too holy to walk with mankind because we all make mistakes and shame ourselves.  So, God sent his son Jesus to die a cruel death on a cross.  You see, his son Jesus died in our place.  Jesus, who was good and never did anything to shame himself or his father, allowed himself to be hung naked on a wooden cross until he was dead. He did this to pay the price for our shame, sin, and mistakes. When we accept Jesus’s payment for our shame, God  will allow us to wear the righteousness of Jesus like a beautiful, holy robe.  The righteousness of Jesus covers our sins, failures , mistakes and  shame.  In this way, God counts us as good enough to walk with him without shame.

You can start a relationship with this great God with a simple prayer:

Dear Lord,

Please forgive me for my failures and the shame that I have brought upon myself and my family.  Thank you that you provide forgiveness for my sins as well as my shame through the sacrifice of your son. Jesus. Thank you that Jesus gave his life for my life.  Jesus wants to carry my sins and shame on himself.  So I give Jesus my sin and my shame.  In exchange, I give God my whole life.  God, thank you that because Jesus is your son, and because he never sinned, he had the power to rise alive from the grave.  Because Jesus did this for me, I can now walk with you, holy God, without sin or shame.  God, please send your holy spirit to live inside of me so that you will be my constant companion.  For with God, through Jesus, I am free from shame!  My life becomes too valuable to throw away or to end it with suicide.  God thank you for giving me your love, purpose and for honoring me by taking my sin and shame!

In Jesus Name,

Amen

This is a happy development.  For now you belong to a God who believes that  your life matters.  To learn more about your new life in Christ, go to:  http://thinkingaboutsuicide.com/new-believers-bible-study/

We have several videos which may interest you.  The first video shows a Japanese worship service where the worshippers are honoring God with songs of praise.

Watch this anime (below) which shows part of the story of Jesus’s death on the cross.

This is an importatant movie in Japanese which shows the whole story of Jesus:

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Max Lucado Shares Words of Hope to Depressed and Suicidal

June 5, 2012 by Leave a Comment
Max Lucado Shares Words of Hope with Readers of Thinking About Suicide

Max Lucado shares words of hope to depressed and suicidal

When I told pastor and bestselling author, Max Lucado about our website, Thinking About Suicide, I asked him if had any words of hope to the depressed and suicidal.  He replied, “The message of grace is so important for those who are in tough times because it takes the burden off of the person and places the burden on God. Grace says that salvation and strength is God based, God given, God driven. Every other religion and philosophy in the world says that it’s up to us to get God’s attention or to win God’s favor—but grace says, ‘No! You already have God’s attention. You already have God’s favor.’

“Those who are passing thought times of despair feel as though they can relate to the orphan because they feel like nobody really cares. But the theme of grace is that God does not just pat us on the back, he gives us a place at his table. He gives us his name, he brings us into his family because he has adopted us. His act of adopting us once and for all declares–I must be worth something. I must have hope and a future.”

I asked, “How can we learn to trust that God’s grace is for us?”

Max Lucado's Grace, More than we Deserve Greater than we Imagine, Due out September 2012, Thomas Nelson

Max replied, “First of all, we have to understand, Linda, what grace means and how it’s articulated in the Bible. We have to wrestle with this whole economy that we are sinners, we need a savior, and that we have one in Jesus Christ who is sufficient to cover our eternal needs.”

“Then, what’s the best way a person can experience God’s grace in their everyday life?”

“I think that one of the underutilized disciplines of faith is confession. After 30 years as a pastor, I believe most people carry around unresolved guilt; a regret, a stumble, a failure—and they’ve never talked to God about it. Satan uses this guilt, Linda, because the commodity of Satan is condemnation. Satan wakes up every day wanting to figure out a way to make us feel guilty. The Bible calls him the accuser and his goal is to condemn us and to create within us a feeling of condemnation.”

“So what’s the solution, Max?”

“If we could learn to quickly confess, ‘Lord, I’m sorry for what I did. I accept your grace,’ then we would live in a state of confession, not in a state of guilt.  To live in a state of receiving this forgiveness of God, all you have to say is, ‘Lord, I’m sorry, please forgive me.’ “Then, confess specifically what you did; ‘I looked at a woman in the wrong way, I spoke out of turn.’”

Max explained, “On the days I really apply this, I find myself practicing dozens of confessions of hour. But it’s not a sense in which I’m just beating myself up, it’s a nonstop conversation that takes place in the back of my mind, between God and me and it’s so liberating!

“Then there’s the issue of these deep seated bad choices,” Max continued, “choices that we made years ago that have never been dealt with.  Many people need to go back and have a good talk to God about that. About the night or the time in the back seat of a car, or with the drugs or the abortion. Some of these major issues that we’ve never really let God forgive.”

It’s time to receive God’s forgiveness.  Watch Max tell an illustrated story about how to let God forgive as he shares words of hope to the depressed and suicidal:

You may also be interested in Max’s books, including the one that led to my interview with him;  Grace, More than we Deserve    Greater than we Imagine, coming September, 2012.

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Help Me Cope: My Best Friend Killed Himself

April 27, 2012 by Leave a Comment
I am so sorry to hear that your best friend killed himself. Losing a friend to suicide is probably one of the most difficult things a person can go through.
This kind of grief is intense and can leave you feeling guilty and wondering what you could have done to stop your friend’s death.  Plus, it’s hard to stop thinking about your loss or to stop blaming yourself that this even happened.

 

 My Best Friend Killed Himself: Now What?

Here are some ideas to help you cope:

  1. Ask God to carry your pain, grief and even your feelings of guilt.
  2. Write down your feelings and memories about your friend in a special notebook, but don’t spend more than 15 minutes a day on this task.  It’s good to vent and express yourself, but if you spend too much time thinking about your loss, it may cause your feelings of grief to worsen. So try to find a good balance.
  3. Talk to a counselor and other adults about your feelings.
  4. Try to understand, then believe, that this really wasn’t your fault.  It wasn’t.
For help with guilt in survivors after suicide of a loved one, click here to read this free online book (PDF format):  SOS: A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide, by Jeffrey Jackson at suicidology.org. Here is an excerpt:
“Talking through your feelings and fears is essential for recovery from your trauma.Unfortunately, while your closest supporters may be willing to listen and share with you for a few weeks or months, there’s likely to come a time when their thoughts move on from the suicide while yours are still racing. This is why support groups are so valuable. Fellow survivors understand what you’re feeling in a way that even your closest friends cannot. Your fellow group members will never grow weary of offering supportive words and sympathetic ears.”

The author also offers this link through which you may find a local support group: Find a Suicide Bereavement Support Group at afsp.org (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention).

One day your pain will lessen, but even when that day comes, your friend will always live in your heart.

To read a letter that one mom wrote to her son who committed suicide, click this link: Suicide is NOT the Final Solution.
If you are hurting and you need to talk to someone, call a suicide hotline.
Here’s the story of how one teen coped with her loss when her best friend killed himself.
You may also find help from another one of our articles by clicking on this link:  The Effect Suicide Has On Loved Ones.

 

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Stopping Fear Syndrome

April 24, 2012 by 1 Comment

By Pat Ennis:

Fear is defined as “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined.”( Random House Webster’s College Dictionary, 2nd ed.)

We live in a fear dominated world—serious illness, weight gain, financial reversal, old age, death, rejection, and fear of man are all categories of fear that cause a focus away from God and toward circumstances.

Fear is real and it is not always negative—when you sense danger, fear usually stimulates you to fight or flee.  However, often the consequences are not positive—for example, fear can . . .

  • Hinder your relationship with others.
  • Stifle your ability to think rationally.
  • Rob you of joy.
  • Injure your relationship with God.
  • Create inner turmoil that can eventually lead to thoughts of suicide.

Since the presence of fear produces such detrimental results, it seems reasonable to locate an antidote to it. Scripture teaches that God’s Word is sufficient to override your fears.

  • The natural reaction to fear is panic. The antidote is to replace potential fear with trust in God (Psalm 56:3-4, 11).
  • Since God comforts you, why should you be afraid (Isaiah 51: 12-16)?
  • You can be content in every circumstance because God has promised to never leave or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5-6).

As you meditate upon the reality that Scripture constantly urges God’s children to trust rather than fear, consider this account that was shared by an African missionary about a herd of lions:

This particular story is about the old king.  You see a lion can only be the king as long as he is strong enough to hold his position— and there is always another lion trying to usurp it.  Usually by the time the old king is replaced he does not have any teeth and only a few claws.  His hair is matted, he has arthritis in the joints, and he no longer can fight to keep his position so a younger lion becomes the new king.

However, the old king is not entirely useless—he still has a role in the herd when the lions go on a hunt.  When the herd hunts, the old, mean-looking, ferocious lion stands on one side while the young hunter lions hide in the bushes on the opposite side.  When the prey appears, the former king looks at it and begins to roar; the roar scares the prey so badly that it runs to the opposite side—right into the waiting jaws of the hunter lions that attack and destroy it.  If the prey had run toward the roar, more than likely it would have been safe, since all the old lion had left was his roar.

The only positive fear recorded in scripture is the fear of God.  This fear is a reverence of God’s majesty, power, and greatness.  When you choose to “run to the roar” you will most likely find the influence of the fear dissolving.

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Why Should I Live?

April 13, 2012 by 2 Comments

Feeling sad, like there’s no hope for your life or future and you’re even  wondering, “Why should I live?”

One teen, Cassie, felt that way too.  Her mother had already committed suicide and Cassie herself was addicted to drugs.

Cassie has put on her frownie face, and wants to tell you  her story in the video below, which you may have to click through to YouTube to watch.  But when you’re done, please return because there’s another video you’ll want you to see in response to what Cassie shared.

 

Cassie is  not the only teen who wondered why should I live?  So did Tatum who responded with a video of her own:
If you are wondering if God really loves you or how to reach out to  God, please take our test, click HERE.
If you need to talk to someone about why you should live, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

 

Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the LORD, And He shall sustain you.
To see more scriptures on encouragement, click HERE.
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