Divorcing Her to Marry One of Her Best Friends

By Linda W. Rooks:

She was stunned to learn her husband was divorcing her to marry one of her best friends.

She considered suicide. Then she found hope.

 

Rock to cling to by Linda Rooks

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer. (Psalm 18:2)

 

His words struck her ears and reverberated through her head as if she had just stepped into the middle of an exploding bombshell.  Georgia saw her husband’s mouth still moving, but a black cloud was descending upon her and the sound of his voice echoed through the chambers of her mind like shots from a cannon.

He’s leaving me. Divorcing me to marry one of my best friends!  They both plan to get divorced, then married to each other.

Georgia asked him questions, but the hardness of his answers made her freeze.  She looked into blue eyes, now dark and cold.  Who was this man?  Where was the man she had married? How could her husband leave her, like her own father had left her as a child? And worse, how could he be divorcing her to marry one of her best friends?

She felt the flesh of her heart tearing apart.  A crushing pain gripped her as if a vice were squeezing the life from her. She could hardly breathe.

After he left, she stumbled out to her car, enveloped in a darkness that shut down her mind and embedded one dark desire into her heart.  “I don’t want to live.  I can’t live.  I must escape this pain.”  As if caught up in a death spiral, her mind raced back to the memory of a friend who had committed suicide years before.  It sounded simple.  She could escape the pain, escape the horror of what was happening to her life.  She would do what her friend had done.

But Georgia was not as skilled as her friend in making the preparations.  After trying her best, she finally climbed into her car, sat at the wheel and in her anguish called out the only name that came to her, “Jesus.  Jesus, if you’re as real as I thought you were,” she cried, “you know I’m not going to make it through this night.  Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”

After a few minutes of sobbing and calling out his name, she felt a peace pouring down on her like a light gleaming through the darkness.  The darkness released her mind and the light swept in.  Jesus would show her the way.  She didn’t have to take this deadly route.

After Georgia found out that her husband was divorcing her to marry one of her best friends, her pain did not immediately go away after that night, but in the midst of it, she felt the love of Jesus holding her up as never before. Whenever Georgia felt desperate, she called out the name of Jesus, and God became more and more real to her. She immediately had a hunger to read the Bible, and when she opened it up, it was like God spoke to her personally. She and the children began reading the book of Job. Here she read about a man who lost everything and suffered the same anguish and doubts she was feeling. But he continued to worship God anyway.  Eventually, God blessed Job with more than he had before.

Today, years later, despite her devastating experience, Georgia wouldn’t trade where she is spiritually for anything.  The circumstances that tore her apart brought her a deeper love and a deeper joy than she would have ever known otherwise.  When others disappointed her, God was always there, providing her with what she needed in unexpected ways.  As He promised, Jesus has never left her nor forsaken her. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

The name of Jesus carries enormous power when we call on His name.  When our heart cries out to Him. He hears us and surrounds us with His presence.  Jesus is the lover of our soul. He longs to be near us.  He longs to comfort us and give us His peace.  Scripture tells us that “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”(Philippians 4:7).

You might not understand it, but His love and peace can undergird you in your pain.  Just call out His name.  Let your heart reach out to Him. He will become a rock to cling to when you feel you are being enveloped in currents of tragedy and adversity.

Just like Georgia felt when she found out the terrible news about the betrayal of her husband and friend, you may feel like life is not worth living.  You may just want to escape the pain, but Jesus loves you and has a plan for you.  He will never leave you when you call out His name. So right now, call out to Him.  “Jesus!”  Let Him heal your heart.

 

Abandoned; Shattered Dreams: Thinking About Suicide?

By Liz Cowen Furman:

Recently divorced, I thought it was over. I felt abandoned by the man who had only one year previously  pledged to protect, provide for, and love me into eternity.

 

Bleeding Hearts…that was mine.

Excitement grew for me as our honeymoon plane took off for Hawaii, (the first plane I had ever boarded in my young life). But he shook his head and sighed, “Oh God, what have I done?”

Being a young blushing bride, I replied, “Did you forget something, I’m sure we can find whatever it is at a store in Maui.”

“No. No. It’s nothing.”

The next miserable year was filled with heartache, shattered dreams and a growing fear inside me that my life was over. I wanted children. I had dreamed of growing old with this man who become like Dr. Jeckel and Mr. Hyde. Before the vows, he was kind to all my friends and family. He lavished me with little affirmations that he would love me forever. Promised me over and over to never leave or forsake me.

Post ceremony he was cruel, saying and doing things that made me feel worthless, refusing on most occasions to even have my family or friends around. He refused to attend church. I was confused, betrayed and heartbroken. Then came the day he announced it was time for me to find an apartment. By that time, I would not even do the grocery shopping without him there for fear I would do it wrong and experience his verbal wrath.

After several sessions of marriage counseling, the marriage counselor met with me alone. He told me my husband believed he had made a terrible mistake, and just wanted out. No counseling could help someone who did not want to try. SHATTERED would be an understatement.

Could I be such a miserable person that the one I had pledged to love for the rest of my life couldn’t stand me in his presence after only 12 short months? FEAR had me in its destructive, paralyzing grip.

In the months that followed, I spent a lot of time alone. Spent a lot of time in the Bible, a lot of time grieving my dashed hopes for a happy marriage and family. I was in my early 20s and believed I was facing life alone. It was the first time I had ever lived alone in my life.

The next years, I focused on building a new dream. I got involved in a church, made new friends and kept my old ones. Went back to school and prayed. I asked God to help me find my way. I repented of anything I had done to cause it. I asked for guidance, wisdom and a new mission in life. God is good, and as the next several years unfolded, I grew in my love of Him. He gave me new hopes, new dreams, even a husband and children. I married Dave with the condition that we will not divorce.  I was not leaving. This marriage vow is a covenant, not a contract.

Looking back, I can see several benchmarks that saved me. Reading my Bible became a daily passion. The wisdom I found on the pages there ministered to me like nothing else. I made mistakes along the way but that single activity pulled me back every time. One of the verses that became my mainstay is Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

If your hopes and dreams have been shattered, take courage. Give your next months to studying the love letters God has written to you. You will find them in the Bible. My advice is to start in the Book of John.

Here is a song that encouraged me along the way.